Aliens Exist
by cgaussie
Summary: My first Zim fanfic, the first of many too I must add. Red and Purple send their maid, Cten and her SIR, named BEK to Earth to aid Zim in his conquest for World Domination. Also explains how I think Irkens show love for another, and later on, their courts
1. Shovels make Lousy Back Scratchers

Aliens Exist  
  
Chapter One: Shovels Make Lousy Back Scratchers  
  
By: Cartman's Girl  
  
~*~  
  
The universe is indeed a big, big thing. It stretches on for miles, no wait, thousands of millions of billions of… well you get the idea. The very thought of beings living on another planet is heard of, but many people choose to not believe it. Sometimes, once in a great while, something…. Weird happens.  
  
How weird you may ask? Hm, to put it quickly. A little annoying alien is sent on a mission to invade a very small and pathetic excuse for a planet. Also known as Earth. Say this annoying alien had a stupid little robot with him, but each time he attempts to take control of Earth, something zany happens, resulting in hilarious events.  
  
Sounds fun eh?? You bet yer human ears it's fun!  
  
Well anyway, back on the planet where the annoying little alien, also known as Zim, came from, his rulers, the All mighty Tallest Red and Purple are not happy. Not happy at all!  
  
The two great, powerful, all mighty, and handsome rulers were stood near a huge window, observing their city of busy little Irks just like them, only shorter.  
  
"Have you heard from Zim yet?" Red asked, as he placed his hands behind his back.  
  
"Another failed mission, Red. It's pathetic!" Purple snarled as a Voot Runner whizzed past the window with an 'L' on the window.  
  
"What are we going to do with him? Abort his mission and… bring him back?" Red smartly used a dramatic pause, and received a shocked look from his associate.  
  
"What? Bring back Zim? Are you crazy? If we bring him back, he might explode our planet! Or something like that." Purple claimed as he walked away from the window, a green hand stroking his would be chin.  
  
"So what are we to do? Maybe… I know! Maybe we could send another Irk after him! An Irk so powerful and dangerous that if Zim dare talk back in his snide little fashion the Irk will smite him with the powerful fist!" Red had joined Purple on the other side of the room, and slammed one fist into his other open palm.  
  
Purple gave him an 'odd' look.  
  
"…sorry." Red's hands fell besides his sides, but then Purple's face was over run with a grin.  
  
"You know something Red, you may be onto something. Besides the smiting and fisting, sending an Irk to help him conquer Earth may be the key! But who would be willing enough to go help Zim of all Irks…" Purple paced the room, thinking quickly. Red yawned slightly as time ticked on.  
  
"How about Royva?" Purple asked,  
  
"Went insane." Red replied.  
  
"Custo?"  
  
"Blew up."  
  
"Hankey?"  
  
"Flushed."  
  
The two stood in silence, trying to think up an Irk capable enough to travel all the way to Earth, to help out Zim. Then the door was opened by a small SIR, female, with a red circle on her chest. She held the door open, as a blue-eyed female Irk entered the room carrying a platter with a shield on it. On the platter, seen through the shield is a throbbing red… thing.  
  
"Your snack time Oh Mighty Powerful Tallest!" she declared happily as the SIR closed the door behind her.  
  
"Put it on the table Cten." Red mumbled, now sat down.  
  
"Yes Sir Red!" Cten chimed, putting the platter on the table.  
  
Purple then turned around to face her, his purple eyes meeting her blue ones.  
  
"….that's it!" he declared suddenly, making Cten, Red and the SIR jump from shock.  
  
"What's it?" Red asked, "Have you thought up someone to-" Purple motioned him to shut up, and he did. Purple then turned his head to Cten.  
  
"Cten, loyal, lovely Cten… how long have you been our Maid?" he asked, walking up to her.  
  
"I have been your loyal servant since the cold unfeeling robot arm brought me to life. Why Tallest Purple, don't you remember? Do you need your head rubbed again?" Cten sounded slightly worried, as she looked over Tallest Purple.  
  
"No no no.. no. I'm just so happy to announce your… your…. Promotion! Yes, that's it." Purple then shook Cten by the hand, the small confused Irk shook back.  
  
"Promotion…? Ah! Am I now the Royal Toilet scrubber?" Cten's eyes glistened with hope.  
  
"No. You've been promoted to Invader!" Purple declared happily, Red then caught on and nodded happily.  
  
"Oh yes! All your years of service has proven to us that you are capable of becoming a famous Invader! You'll make us all proud with your first mission!" Red then picked up the SIR by the antennae.  
  
"Owchie!" the SIR declared.  
  
Red and Purple rushed from the room, carrying the two forms of life, well, one form of life, one form of information data control, and swooped them down the hallway as they hurried.  
  
"But Noble Tallest Sirs, who shall make your snacks the way you like them? Who else knows that Tallest Red likes his meatmongers with the legs cut off? No one else knows how to rub Sir Purple's head the right way!" Cten was trying to bring up a reason for her not to be pushed of into space, for she liked and enjoyed her job as a Maid, but Invader?  
  
"Sorry no refunds on promotions. It's on auto pilot, so don't worry!" Purple threw her into the Voot Runner, and Red dropped the SIR in after her. The hatch slammed shut, the engines flared, and the Voot Runner soared off into space.  
  
The two Tallest waved it goodbye, until it was out of their sight.  
  
"Think we did the right thing, sending a Maid in place of a Invader?" Red asked Purple as the vessel vanished.  
  
"…I'm not that sure now…. And she was right, no one else knows how to rub my head the way she does!"  
  
~*~  
  
"GIR! What have you done to the parent decoys?!" Zim had arrived home from school to be greeted by his parent decoys, only, the decoys were kinda buried up to their necks in the front lawn between a Puffer fish and a lawn gnome.  
  
GIR was standing off to the side, a shovel in one of his hands.  
  
"Nothing!" GIR responded, dropping the shovel onto the Father decoy's head.  
  
"Don't give me that… what was that in your hand then?" Zim glared down at his pathetic robot, who was still hidden from sight within his dog suit.  
  
"It was a back scratcher Sir!" GIR replied innocently. Zim frowned and was about to add something when none other then Dib arrived at the fence.  
  
"Well well well, what's going on here Zim? A little parent pottery class?"  
  
Zim turned on his heels to face Dib, leaning slyly against the fence, with his arms folded. He glanced at the parent decoys, then at Dib.  
  
"These aren't my parents! They're… unsightly mushroom things! Now get out of here, before I sick my dog on you!" Zim waved his arm towards GIR, who was now poking one of the Gnomes in the eye with the shovel handle.  
  
"Hyeah, sure. I'll see you later Zim." Dib turned and walked back down the street, glancing back at Zim until he was gone from sight.  
  
"Will he ever give up… pitiful human monkey thing! Come GIR, we must plan for tonight!" Zim headed indoors, leaving the parent decoys where they lay.  
  
"Why sir, what are we doing tonight?" GIR asked, dropping the shovel, which happened to be zapped to smithereens by the Gnome.  
  
"Plan to take over Earth! What else do we do you idiotic piece of tin can opener?!" Zim grabbed GIR by the head and yanked him inside, slamming the door behind him.  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, in the deep dark space of universe, a small Voot Runner was soaring through space, and a very bored looking Cten and her SIR sat there, watching the stars whiz past.  
  
"…how do Invaders keep themselves entertained anyway?" Cten asked her SIR,  
  
"I wouldn't know ma'am. Maybe they sang songs and played eye spy?" the SIR responded, then looked outside at the stars whizzing s'more.  
  
"Oh BEK," Cten leant back in her seat, putting her feet up, "Why did Master Purple and Master Red dismiss me like that? Did I do something wrong?"  
  
"I'm not sure ma'am. You always seem to be good at everything you did for them." BEK claimed, as a comet almost smashed them to pieces.  
  
"Maybe I over cooked something!" Cten declared, sitting up. She tried to remember what she had cooked for them in the recent week, but nothing had turned up faulty.  
  
"Maybe they need more Invaders?" BEK queried,  
  
"90% of our population are Invaders! How could one more change anything?" Cten snapped at the SIR.  
  
The rest of the trip was in silence, for one reason Cten soon fell asleep, and BEK had shut down for a charge up.  
  
Later…  
  
"Ma'am! Ma'am! Wake up! Wake up! You must see this!" Cten woke up to the shakings from BEK, and groggily opened her blue eyes.  
  
"Wha…?" Cten asked, half asleep.  
  
"Look!" BEK pointed out to the space, but now in the near distance was a planet, a planet which had blue and green, and white smeary things covering it. Cten sat up and put her hands to the window, her eyes showing amazement.  
  
"Wooowwwww…"  
  
The Voot Runner neared the planet, and it's censors picked up the location of the other Voot Runner, and headed for it's direction as it entered Earth's atmosphere.  
  
"I just hope this thing knows where it's going…" Cten commented,  
  
"I just hope that the auto pilot knows how to land!" BEK claimed as she noticed that the Voot Runner wasn't slowing down at all.  
  
~*~  
  
Dib was sat on the front porch of his house, head in his hands. He had the type of look on his face which tells you he's thinking deep thoughts, either that or constipation. He then rested his head on one hand, and his other hand began drumming on his knee.  
  
"Come on Dib, think… there has to be a way you can reveal Zim's identity to the human race… what's wrong with me? I've always had good ideas! Think think THINK! Ow…" through his ranting, he had started hitting his head with his fists, now realising this causes pain, he's stopped.  
  
But then he heard a sound, a sound that drowned out that of the local birds and wildlife, if you can call the next door neighbour's killer dog 'wildlife'. It was a high humming sound, and mixed in with that, were screams, screams of the female kind too.  
  
Dib's eyes looked up at the sky, and in a split second, for the Voot Runner was going exceptionally fast, a flash of purple and white streaked down his street and was gone in another split second, the screams and humming dying out again. Dib blinked, and rubbed his, er, glasses.  
  
"…Zim." He muttered, he stood up and pulled his camera out from his jacket, and took off down the street.  
  
Unknown to Dib, his sister Gaz had been stood behind him all that time. She blinks, opens her eyes a bit then rubs them once they shut again.  
  
"Maybe I should take a break from playing Game Slave… what am I saying?!" she heads back inside, and slams the door behind her.  
  
~*~  
  
Zim and GIR, within their secret lab under their base, are.. well… doing nothing. Their minds are blank, well, Zim's is since GIR's is always blank. Zim's tapping a table with his laser gun, trying to think up something to do which could help in his mission to over take Earth.  
  
"…stupid brain, think quicker!" Zim knocked himself up the head, but then he was annoyed by a beeping sound, coming from his huge computer screen. "SHUT UP!" he screeched at it, but the beeping continued. "I told you to SHUT-"  
  
But then he noticed the red block lettering on the screen.  
  
IRKEN VOOT RUNNER CLOSING IN – PREPARE FOR LANDING  
  
"….VOOT RUNNER?!?! GIR!" Zim turns sharply on his heels, to see GIR playing dress up with a dead rat he found. GIR stands to attention.  
  
"Yes Sir?" he asked in response,  
  
"…get into doggy costume, we're heading out!"  
  
~*~  
  
"We're gonna die we're gonna die we're gonna die!!!!" Cten was raving while sat in her chair, hands failing all over the place. BEK was still stood off to the side.  
  
"Correction ma'am, you shall die, I'll just be rebuilt later." BEK claimed. Cten stared at her, and began ranting again.  
  
"I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna DIE!"  
  
~*~  
  
Dib's legs were running as quickly as they could, he was running at a speed he didn't even know he possessed, for he had to get a photo of this cruiser because no way it could be swamp gas, seeing as how there is no swamp's around this town, nor could it be a weather balloon this close to the ground. Plus, gas and balloons don't scream.  
  
"I know exactly where it'll be too…" he sharply turned down an alley way, squeezed through the broken fence, ran through the garbage yard, and thus tripped on a used diaper and fell head first into some trash. He quickly scrambles out of it, and through another broken fence and vanishes from sight, at least he vanishes, the smell doesn't.  
  
~*~  
  
Zim and GIR, now in their costumes, are stood outside their base, watching the skies. GIR's more or less watching a butterfly flying around, which then flutters out onto the street and thus is smashed onto the windshield of the Voot Runner which comes to a quick grinding halt, and lands safely on the ground. Course, Cten's in a hysterical state and is still screaming her head off inside.  
  
Zim looks besides himself with happiness, his contact blue eyes are wide and he looks oddly… cute.  
  
"A voot runner…. I thought I'd never see another on this pitiful planet! …but wait, why would they send one…? Maybe my mission is aborted and the Tallest sent an Irk to give me the message in Irken! Dah!" the look vanished from his face, and he ran a hand through his wig, making it look more shiny.  
  
The hatch then hissed open, some fog appearing from it. It finally lifts to reveal… Cten in a foetal position in the chair, head hidden in the chair and her rear up in the air, and BEK stood besides her. BEK looks at Zim, then GIR.  
  
"Greetings Irken and fellow SIR! I am BEK! And this is my-" BEK stopped talking since her mistress is now sitting up, and looking around, then down at herself.  
  
"I… I'm alive! Irk be praised! I live!" Cten clambered out of the Voot Runner and kissed the ground in front of Zim, who can't help but stare.  
  
"I kiss the sweet ground! Ew." She gets to her feet and spits out some gravel. Cten then realised a fellow Irk was stood in front of her.  
  
"…oh, greetings fellow Irken! I am Cten!" Cten thus bows at Zim, who's staring at her blue eyes with great interest!  
  
"…why are your eyes blue?" Zim asks, pointing to her eyes.  
  
"Well that's cause-"  
  
"A-HAH!"  
  
The two Irkens turned and there, stood with a banana peel on his head and reeking of garbage, is Dib. Plus other unsightly smudges which I think is dirt on his jacket.  
  
"I knew it! Alien skum here to take over our planet! Okay smile please." Dib quickly snaps a photo. Cten just looks confused as she stares at Dib.  
  
"Dib! What are you doing here you stinky earth skum?!" Zim turned on his opponent, coming between his view of Cten and BEK.  
  
"Oh nothing, just once again getting evidence that you're from another planet. Then I'll have you on an autopsy table before you can say-"  
  
"ATTACK!" Zim screeched, cutting Dib off. On command, GIR leapt at Dib and soon the two vanished in a cloud of smoke, Zim turned quickly to Cten.  
  
"Quick! Minimize your Voot Trooper and get inside!" Zim declared to Cten, who had been watching the fight. She stares at Zim blankly.  
  
"…minimize…?" she asked in a lost voice. Zim snorted, and pushed a button on the Voot Runner. It quickly folded up and ended up looking like a book. Cten blinks, and picks it up, just before Zim grabs her arm and drags her inside his base, BEK in toe.  
  
Seeing how he's left alone, GIR then takes in after them, slamming the door behind him. Dib, is still in one piece and doesn't seem hurt at all, he slowly sits up. He looks himself over, and slowly a grin crosses his face.  
  
"I… I'm okay! HAH Zim! Your pathetic attack dog does nothing! And I've got photos! I've… where's my camera?"  
  
~*~  
  
"Whhheeeee! Hehehehe! Smile Sir!" GIR, now happily wielding Dib's camera is running around the base, snapping photos of anything he can. So far he's gotten half the monkey picture on the wall, a couch leg, Cten's foot, BEK's antennae, and now Zim's stomach.  
  
"GIR! Get out of here! Myself and Cten have important matters to discuss! Go play with the SIR or something." Zim swiped a hand at GIR, trying to get the annoying robot to leave.  
  
"Aw, okay then! Come on SIR thingy!" GIR grabbed BEK by the hand and dragged her from the room.  
  
"Ma'am…?" BEK looked to Cten, hoping that her mistress would allow her not to go with the weird robot.  
  
"Go BEK." Cten replied.  
  
Soon the robots were gone, leaving the two Irkens to talk amongst each other in the kitchen area.  
  
"So tell me, why were you sent?" Zim asked as he climbed onto the toilet, his transportation device to his lab.  
  
"Well, Tallest Red and Purple gave me a promotion, so I became an Invader and sent me here to aid you in your crusade." Cten replied, glancing at the surroundings.  
  
"I see. So you are like, an ally to me?" Zim asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Pretty much." Cten replied.  
  
"Ah. This conversation shall continue, in my lab. Follow suit, ally Cten." Zim pulled the toilet chain, and he vanishes from sight. Cten could just stare blankly.  
  
~*~  
  
Dib was making his way home slowly, once again his plans of trying to get evidence of Zim being an alien had been thwarted. This time by the stupid little dog thing that Zim always had around him when out of school.  
  
He didn't care that most people he passed in the streets, ended up passed out on the streets because of his stench, his mind was wondering who that other alien was. This one, unlike Zim, had blue eyes. He remembered seeing Zim with red eyes, but this one had blue.  
  
He stopped in his tracks.  
  
"They're going to breed!" Dib declared to no one in particular, and took off in a dash.  
  
That's it! The other was a female! She'd been sent here to Earth to find Zim and to reproduce! If there is to be more of them, they'll become more powerful! He had to do something, something to stop the two from breeding then multiplying. First he had to find out the gestation period of Zim's species, and find out how long it takes for one to grow fully!  
  
He soon came to his front door and swung it open and rushed inside up to his room, but then Gaz came to his door, a hand held to her nose.  
  
"Dib?" she asked, sounding slightly nasal.  
  
"Don't bother me now Gaz! I'm on the breakthrough to discovering the reproduction and mating rituals of Zim's species!" Dib replied hysterically as he was grabbing his things.  
  
"First at least shower Dib, already the neighbours are complaining." Gaz snapped, and slammed the door shut. Dib paused, and the stench finally reached him.  
  
"WOOO! Blah!" he screeched loudly, and covered his nose.  
  
~*~  
  
Cten was amazed indeed. The lab that Zim had under his control was very awe- inspiring, even for her, who had worked under Tallest Red and Purple all her life. How everything had it's place, the many screens of data (TV in our terms), and all the terminals… she could only say one thing.  
  
"Pretty…" Cten mumbled to herself.  
  
"So, come along new ally Cten! Explain to your commanding officer why you're here!" Zim was now sat on a swivel chair, while Cten was still standing. She blinked and looked to him.  
  
"I said, I got a promotion so I guess I'm here to help you." Cten replied.  
  
"Ah. Now, your eyes. What happened?" Zim just remembered his second question, he pointed to her, "You aren't an albino are you?" he asked, he had heard of albino-like Irkens, but wasn't sure on their colors. He had heard they were pale skinned with white eyes, but he wasn't sure.  
  
"…I'm supposed to have blue eyes." Cten replied simply.  
  
"Oh? Why?" Zim leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the table he had made just spring up out of nowhere, separating the two.  
  
"I'm a girl." Cten replied.  
  
Zim lost balance and toppled over backwards, landing on his back. A female Irken? He had never seen such a thing! He didn't even know the existed! He got to his feet quickly, dusting himself off.  
  
"You're a female? I mean, of course you are!" Zim asked, trying to sound as sure of himself.  
  
"You don't know about female Irkens, do you?" Cten saw straight through him, and he slumped his shoulders.  
  
"No not really." He replied pitifully. "I've never even seen one." He added.  
  
"Ahhh. Well you see, the females are kept out of sight back on Irk, Zim. We're usually just for the Mighty Tallest to see, you know, cook for them and do basic chores like that." Cten replied, "I was a Maid all my life, until I was promoted to an Invader like yourself." She added.  
  
"Oohhh… so females have blue eyes, while males have red?" Zim was kinda catching on.  
  
"Pretty much. But each Irken must reproduce at least once in their life time." Cten claimed. This caused Zim to slightly blush at the idea of reproducing.  
  
"Oh, I… I see…"  
  
"But that is not until we have reached a certain age, then, at some time, the female's eyes go from a blue to a red, and the male's eyes go from red to blue. That shows that they are ready to reproduce. From the mating, and the birth, the hatchling is placed into the vile liquid and once it is stable enough, it is brought to life." Cten said this all calmly, even though to Zim, this was 'The Talk'.  
  
"….so that's how it happens…" he mumbled to himself.  
  
"Pretty much yeah." Cten replied, then smiled at him. "But my eyes have never turned red, I'm too young."  
  
"Well, well mine haven't turned blue…" Zim muttered to himself,  
  
"Then we are both too young." Cten heard him, and responded. Zim looked at her, one eyebrow raised. But then he walked over to her.  
  
"Then this is a good thing! With the idea of breeding out of our minds forever more now, you can help assist me in my ruling of this planet!.. once I conquer it that is." Zim added.  
  
"I am at your service, Zim." Cten replied, then an Irken light appeared near her head. "When was the last time you had an Irken cooked meal?"  
  
"Oh gee I dunno… since I left?" Zim asked, unsure why she was asking.  
  
"Then tonight, I'm making you…" she paused for dramatic effect, "Evasanna Molara!"  
  
Zim's jaw almost dropped.  
  
"B-but how? None of those ingredients…" Zim stuttered,  
  
"Oh I have my ways Zim. Tonight you shall be tasting Evasanna Molara that used to be eaten by the Mighty Tallest alone! But, I have a question first." Cten was now glancing at a picture of Dib, hanging on the wall and it had laser holes through it.  
  
"Okay shoot." Zim replied, a little more angst in his voice for he wanted to taste the Evasanna Molara as soon as possible.  
  
"Who was that… creature?" she asked, and pointed to Dib's image. Zim glanced at it, then looked back at her.  
  
"THAT, is the pitiful human Earth-monkey skum known as Dib. He is the only one who knows who we really are, and that is the reason why after my feasting on Evasanna Molara, I am to assign you your costume. Your costume is what you are to wear whenever you are off my base, for if you are seen without it, disaster would reign down upon us and our mission would be doomed!"  
  
There was a moments pause.  
  
"I see now."  
  
~*~  
  
After a good soak in the bath, Dib was now clean once again. He was now writing in a thick black book, entitled 'Zim Events'. Now this is the voice over of what he's thinking as he writes it down. Thank you.  
  
February 1st  
  
Today I actually saw a vessel from outer space, possibly it is of the same built that got Zim to this planet as well. When I finally arrived at Zim's base, there stood before him was another alien! Sadly my camera was stolen by Zim's pathetic dog, but I have made some sketches which are enclosed with this entry.  
  
Note to self. Don't use permanent glue. Can cause problems  
  
Anyway, I noticed the color of the second alien's was that of a deep sea blue. I have reported seeing Zim with red eyes. Maybe the hue of the creatures eyes back on Zim's planet, shows which sex it is. This is just my rough guess, but I believe that the blue-eyed alien was sent here to mate with Zim, and to reproduce on Earth. Thus growing in numbers quickly and efficiently, soon they'll over run man kind!  
  
But I know of their dreaded plan, I'm going to put all my effort into thwarting their chances of reproducing. Although I am unsure of how Zim's species…. Do it, I'm sure it's something stupid like, touching antennae, or touching finger tip to finger tip. I shall thwart it all!  
  
::insert maniacal laughter here::  
  
~Dib  
  
To be continued, sometime in the near future, you better bet your human ears on it! 


	2. Skool Daze

Aliens Exist  
  
Chapter Two: Skool Daze  
  
By: Cartman's Girl  
  
Hint from me: It is best if you guys read 'Shovels Make Lousy Back Scratchers' before reading this, for that introduces Cten and BEK. So to save confusion on your part, read it first. Thank you.  
  
~*~  
  
The shadows on the walls were moving again, morphing from their usual plain states into hideously wretched forms. Lightning flashed, sending shocks of light through the room, nothing was visible to the light then, but as soon as it died out the shadows remained. Looming…  
  
Then Dib smelt it. A hideous smell, kinda like a mixture of bad gas and bad breath rolled into one. The stench was awful, and it made his eyes water. Even though his eyes were watering like a fountain, he had to try to see what was causing his body such irritation.  
  
Another flash of lightning, he saw it for a split second.  
  
A figure stood across the room from him, a being all too familiar to Dib but yet it was different in a big way.  
  
Big, as in Zim was now five times his normal height, and more ugly then ever before. Dib didn't see all of him, but Zim's teeth were razor sharp now, and his eyes were blood red.  
  
Dib didn't waste any time. He did what any other smart human would do in a situation like this.  
  
He ran.  
  
But even without looking back, he knew Zim was following him. One thing that gave it away, was the fact he could hear the clinking of Zim's spider legs following him, and the stench of Zim's probably bad breath was still as strong as ever.  
  
"SOMEBODY HELP MEEE!!" Dib wailed as he turned a sharp corner and kept going, he dared to glance back. As he did a huge, now black and sharp spider leg was appearing behind him. Dib looked forward and skidded to a halt.  
  
"…where'd this wall come from?" he asked himself, but turned around as he heard soft sniggering from behind him.  
  
There stood Zim, with huge black, thick and powerful spider legs holding his already huge form up, towering over Dib. His antennae were as sharp as ever, held back, and his blood shot eyes had the reflection of Dib in them. Zim's mouth slowly turned from a grin to a laugh, and then Dib saw it.  
  
Zim's tongue was a snake! Not just any snake, but a thick, highly poisonous snake! As Zim laughed hysterically the snake winded it's way from Zim's mouth and was soon face to face with Dib.  
  
"Hot sssshot huh?" the snake hissed at Dib, and before Dib could reply, the snake shot at him and dug it's long teeth into his arm.  
  
"ARRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Dib sat up in bed, sweating like he had just run a thousand mile run. He groped for his glasses on his nightstand, and put them on. Quickly he looked around his room.  
  
No storm, no scary shadows, and no monstrous Zim after him. He sighed and laid back in his bed.  
  
"Man… I really need to see a therapist." He muttered to himself.  
  
~*~  
  
"Look Cten! Valentines Day is approaching!"  
  
Zim had walked into the kitchen that morning, after awaking from a usual dream-less state. Cten was stood in the kitchen, looking out the window. She looked back at him.  
  
"What's Valentines Day?" she asked,  
  
"Well, I'm not sure myself but it seems to focus on human emotions, such as love and comfort." Zim strode up to her and handed her the calendar he was holding. The image of the month was all sappy and lovey like.  
  
"…this is love?" she asked, pointing to the image.  
  
"Human love, yes." Zim replied, nipping it back from her, and putting it on the bench. "I've taken into account how different humans show love to us Irkens." He added.  
  
"No biting?" Cten asked as she flipped through the calendar images.  
  
"No biting or bringing dead offerings or anything! It's pitiful. They give them sugared treats and things made of card." Zim exclaimed.  
  
"When you said the human race we weird, I didn't think they were THIS weird." Cten said as she was staring at the December image of a snowman.  
  
"That's not the half of it, Cten! Come. I'm assigning you your costume you are to wear when off this base." Zim marched from the room, Cten following after him.  
  
Cten was now sat on what Zim called a beanie-baby, in all honesty it was a bean-bag, awaiting Zim's return. BEK was stood besides her, resting. Zim then entered the room, a suitcase in hand. He dropped it on the ground and opened it, from it he pulled out a blonde wig, full of curls.  
  
"This is your wig." Zim claimed, then he dropped it upon Cten's head, and topped it off with a straw hat.  
  
"And this is to make sure it doesn't blow off." He added.  
  
Cten didn't need to even look at herself to know she looked ridiculous. But then Zim pulled out what she'd wear. Those who are familiar with Sailor Moon would know this outfit, the blue pleated skirt, white top with the sailor-like neck thingie.  
  
"This is your costume wear." Zim said.  
  
"I am not wearing that." Cten said sternly, a frown on her face.  
  
"Look Cten, humans naturally view little girls as innocent things. Wearing what they call 'cute' clothes, adds to the innocence! They'd never suspect such a cute little girl to be an evil alien sent from a distant planet! You will wear it, for I have no other female clothing." Zim handed her the dress.  
  
"…great." Cten muttered.  
  
"As for YOU, SIR." Zim turned to BEK, who sparked to life again.  
  
"Yes sir?" BEK asked.  
  
"Here is your costume." Zim pulled a cat costume, orange with black stripes. Unlike GIR's, this one had a button instead of a zipper. "You'll wear this when the front door opens, and when you are off the base." Zim handed her the costume.  
  
"Yes sir!" BEK claimed, and instantly dressed up in it.  
  
~*~  
  
The two Irks, now in their human disguises were making their way down the street.  
  
"Now you are to attend Skool. It makes you seem more human like." Zim explained as they crossed the street, barely being crushed by a speeding car.  
  
"So I'll have to interact with human larva?" Cten asked, pulling the blue skirt lower down for she felt uncomfortable revealing her legs, then folded her arms for the same reason.  
  
"Yes. But don't worry, majority speaking they're all spooty-heads and deserve to be ruled by the Mighty Tallest." Zim replied.  
  
Soon the Skool was in full view, and Cten was taken back at how many children there was. Many of them watched as Zim lead her up the stairs, and through the open doors.  
  
"Do we have to sign in, like in Boot Camp?" Cten asked, she had heard the guards talking about Boot Camp, and how they had to sign in first thing in the mornings and last thing at night. Zim shuddered a bit, obviously he had been in Boot Camp and he didn't enjoy it.  
  
"Ee. No. I just turned up when I arrived. It'll work for you. Don't worry Cten, they can sense fear, these humans." Zim said to her.  
  
By now they were walking through the hallways, Zim stopped at his locker and opened it. Inside was a lot of gadgets no one would suspect to find in a school child's locker, well this wasn't a child's was it? Anyway, Zim opened his back pod and got out a book and put it into his locker, and removed another book. He turned to Cten as he shut the door.  
  
"We have to take stupid notes of Ms. Bitter's rants of doom and demise Monday mornings." Zim explained, and lead her through the teaming mass of children.  
  
"Look… she's got green skin!"  
  
"Hawhaw, if there's a big breeze we'll see up her skirt."  
  
"Hehehe!"  
  
These whispers and many others like them could be heard by Cten as she made her way through the hallways. Soon the skool bell rang, and all the students entered their room. Zim told Cten to wait outside in the hallway, until he returned. Zim marched into the classroom and up to Ms. Bitters' desk.  
  
"Sir!" he declared, getting her attention.  
  
"What is it Zim?" she snarled, she didn't like Monday mornings. Come to think of it, she didn't like any mornings.  
  
"I am here to report that another child is to add to the numbers of this classroom." Zed exclaimed. This got the classes attention, particularly Dib's.  
  
"Really. Well let the rat in." Ms. Bitters said, not sounding very interested.  
  
"Yes sir!" Zim replied, he turned on his heels and went to the door.  
  
Seeing thing from Zina's (the girl sat behind Zim) point of view, Zim opens the door and talks through to someone outside. There's a pause, and Zim talks again. Finally he slams the door open and dragged in a girl, much his height and had the same green complexion. What she wore was a fashion nightmare tho.  
  
Zim dragged Cten up to the middle of the front of the class, and turned to the class, but addressed Ms. Bitters.  
  
"This is Cten." He declared, "Class say hello NOW!" he barked.  
  
Some students made feeble attempts of saying hello, one snored.  
  
"So, Cten. How do you and Zim know each other?" Ms. Bitters asked, glad that there was something to post-pone her talk on World War Three.  
  
"Uh.. I… ah…." Cten mumbled something, so Zim took over.  
  
"We are both suffering from the same green skin disease thingie. There's party… stuff that happens once a year and I met her there. Yes that's it." Zim was happy at how he had thought it up so quickly. One boy, up the back called out,  
  
"Ooo Zim's got a girlfriend!"  
  
This sparked a big reaction, all the kids, minus Dib and Ms. Bitters, burst into hysterics and made lovey dovey noises at Zim and Cten, who looked as confused as anyone.  
  
"SILENCE!" Ms. Bitters suddenly screeched, the whole class fell quiet. She turned to Cten, "Now, Cten. Take the desk behind the big headed boy." Ms. Bitters pointed to Dib, the boy sat behind him looked confused.  
  
"Uh, Ms. Bitters?" he asked.  
  
"What do you want?" she snarled back,  
  
"…I'm sitting here." He replied. Ms. Bitters looked him over.  
  
"Why it seems you are. James, you're expelled. Get out."  
  
James burst into tears and left running from the room, slamming the door behind him. Ms. Bitters turned to Cten.  
  
"Take the seat." She snapped. Cten nodded and walked past Dib, and sat behind him.  
  
"She was right, he has got a big head." She thought, since the view of the back of Dib's head sure was big.  
  
"But Ms. Bitters! Aren't the PARENTS of children meant to enrol them first?" Dib asked, raising a hand. "The same thing happened with Zim, and we all know he's an alien scum!"  
  
"LIAR!" Zim screeched at him from his place across the room.  
  
"Don't start with that alien stuff again." Mary chimed up, from sitting across from Cten. "That's all stupid stuff!"  
  
Dib turned in his chair, and locked eyes with Cten's now blue human-like eyes. He frowned and pointed his finger at her.  
  
"I'm onto you, you alien scum." With that he turned around and didn't look back again. Cten sat in her chair, and blinked a few times. She had a funny feeling in her squeedly spooch, something she hadn't felt before. It had clicked as Dib had turned and pointed to her, but kept up all through out the classroom. She held her squeedly spooch with her hands, looking quite confused throughout the lecture about how World War Three would destroy them all because of all the hidden bombs and what not.  
  
Cten found herself dozing a bit, her eyes half shut. The rest of the class seemed like a blur of doom, more doom, and a hint of doom s'more. Soon the skool bell rang, and the children filed out the room. Zim walked over to Cten and poked her awake.  
  
"Hey! Wake up! We're gonna be late for lunch." Zim said, Cten rubbed her eyes.  
  
"Oh, oh right." She hopped from her chair and walked after Zim from the room.  
  
"Now this place is just as bad as the classroom, even worse, there's the chance of flying food hitting you up the head." Zim explained as they walked past the lockers.  
  
"Food flies here?" Cten asked, passing a locker where muffled voices were coming from.  
  
"Only when thrown, any one can throw it. So watch your back." Zim replied, and swung the lunch doors open, revealing the filled lunch room. "Behold Cten! The lunch room!"  
  
Cten glanced at the whole area, isle upon isle of human larva eating mushy stuff.  
  
"Ah, Ketchup and Rice day. You're in for a treat, if you dare eat it." Zim said as he lead her to the food line, grabbing a tray.  
  
"There the are…" Dib was sat at his normal table, besides his sister Gaz who was slurping a juice box.  
  
"What?" Gaz asked, but her voice shown she didn't care at all.  
  
"Zim and Cten. Little bag of death now sits behind me in class." Dib replied, pointing to Cten who was now looking disgusted by what was splattered onto her tray. Gaz glanced over at her.  
  
"Probably like sitting behind the moon." Gaz said, basically taking a jab at Dib's big head.  
  
"My head isn't big Gaz, all right?" Dib had caught the insult pretty quickly. He then felt impact of something hitting the back of his head, he put his hand to the back, to find a spit wad. He turned around and glared at whoever sat behind him, but the chance of him finding who had done it was a one to a million chance.  
  
Meanwhile, at their table, the two aliens sat across from each other. Zim didn't show any interest in his food, since he never dared eat skool food even if the chance of becoming ruler of Earth counted on it. Cten was poking at the rice and ketchup, looking sickened.  
  
"You have to eat this?" she asked, and swore she saw something move on her plate.  
  
"If you want an early death, go right ahead." Zim replied, then looked over the hall and spotted Dib wiping the back of his head. He smirked. "Ah, spit wads… the guns amongst the kiddies."  
  
"What?" Cten looked over at Dib, I mean, how could she miss a head that size?  
  
"Spit wads, here." Zim ripped a piece of his napkin off, rolled it into a ball and spat on it, making it firmer. He then picked up the milk straw, put the ball into his mouth, held the straw to his mouth and points it at Mary, who was sat a few seats down. He took a deep breath, and blew.  
  
ZIP! SPACK!  
  
"Ahh! Spit wad!! Sick!!" Mary's screeches filled the hall, and Zim chuckled to himself. Cten blinked and looked at Zim with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"That looks weird."  
  
"Well better then having rice 'n ketchup thrown at you!"  
  
The lunch room continued, slowly and seemed to last forever to Cten. But, she just couldn't help from glancing to Dib now and again. She raised her eyebrows at him, but her attention was diverted because her wig was rather itchy against her bald green head. She scratched her head, and then she heard it.  
  
SPLUNK!  
  
"FOOOOOOOD FIIIGGGGHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!"  
  
The next thing anyone knew, food was thrown from any possible direction! The rice 'n ketchup, milk, candy, chips, a watermelon, a fig, a bird… anything edible seemed to soar through the air at lightning speed, hitting any target that dare get in it's way. Zim grabbed Cten's hand,  
  
"Hurry Cten! Get to cover before-" but before Zim could finish his sentence, something big, a watermelon, crashed right into his face, causing him to fall back into a yucky, sticky and runny pile of watermelon goo. Cten gasped and knelt down besides Zim, his eyes now shut and pretty much covered in goo.  
  
"Zim! No!! You can't die! We've got to over throw this planet then you can die! Don't DIE!!" Cten threw her arms around Zim's neck and wailed hysterically.  
  
"Let go of me, Cten."  
  
"ZIM! You live!" Cten hugged him again, and he sat up, putting his hands to his eyes as the food continued to be thrown around like bullets.  
  
"Cten.. my contacts! They're broken!" Zim opened his eyes, the shards of the contacts falling into his hands, revealing his red eyes.  
  
"Uh-oh! Do you have spares?" Cten asked, glancing around as a pie nearly missed her head.  
  
"I didn't pack any! They're in my locker! But I've got to get past Dib, and if he sees me I'll be doomed!… Cten!" Zim turned to Cten who was about to stick a pie covered finger into her mouth, "Distract the Dib!"  
  
"But how-"  
  
"GO!"  
  
Cten scrambled to her feet and ran through the food throwing frenzy, until she had reached Dib who was ducking from food being thrown at his table.  
  
"Dib!" Cten called to him, and finally arrived besides him.  
  
"What do YOU want alien freak?" Dib asked as he glared at her, a fork whizzing past them.  
  
"I.. I… uhh…" Cten paused, Zim was counting on her to avert Dib's attention from Zim. Then her mind flashed back to the night before, when GIR was showing her and BEK what TV did. She saw two humans go mouth to mouth and make mumbling sounds. Seemed like a good idea to use this to avert Dib's attention as any.  
  
"Well?" Dib was getting annoyed, his eyes trailing back to Zim, who was hiding his face from view.  
  
"Well, this!" Cten then grabbed Dib's head, brought it to hers and planted a big, ole' wet smooch to the mouth. Needless to say, both Dib and Zim were shocked at this.  
  
"Good grief! She's trying to ram her ova-repositor down my throat and lay her eggs in my chest!!" Dib's mind screamed loudly, and at this chance, Zim raced past the two, but stopped at the door and looked back.  
  
"…Cten's taking her job more seriously then I thought… oh well!" Zim vanished outside the door. Seeing Zim gone, Cten thus released Dib from her alien smooch and ran off out of the cafeteria hall.  
  
Dib just stood there, a little more speechless then before and put his hands to his mouth. There was a moment's pause.  
  
"I COULD BE CARRYING EGGS!!! OUT OF MY WAY!!" Dib thus ran screaming from the lunch room, and vanished into the hall ways.  
  
To be continued, yet again!  
  
Don't worry, more happens soon! You've yet to see recess! 


	3. Horse Head Fun

Aliens Exist  
  
Chapter 3: Horse Head Fun  
  
By: Cartman's Girl  
  
After searching through his locker, Zim found a spare pair of contacts. He placed them on, and closed the locker door to find Cten stood nearby. He looked at her, and raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Cten, could I ask you something?" Zim asked slyly,  
  
"Yeah sure." Cten replied simply.  
  
"Why did you do that lip thing with Dib?" Zim asked, walking up to her.  
  
"Well… you said, to divert his attention. So I did! It got him out the room after tho! Last I saw of him, he was running and screaming about eggs or something." Cten replied, smiling happily.  
  
"…oh. Well come, now it's play time, or Recess."  
  
Zim lead Cten through the hallways, and pass the boys toilets. Pan into the boys toilets, and it's one of those kinda toilets where it has some stalls, and where a stall is, instead of a toilet is a shower. We see Dib's clothing on the ground, his black trench coat, black boots, black slacks, blue shirt and probably underwear, can't see any. Dib's voice echoes on the tiled room as he talks to himself.  
  
"…I can't believe that! My first kiss and it's from a disgusting alien! I swear I tasted something wrong in her mouth or something… but why'd she do that anyway? Maybe I am carrying eggs now in my chest, and they'll burst through my chest in the middle of class one day! …dude that'd be freaked."  
  
Unknown to Dib, Torque Spackey then entered the boys rooms. He looked at the pile of clothing on the ground, and he heard Dib's voice talking about pregnancy or something. He grinned evilly, snuck up and grabbed the clothing, and dashed from the room, not realising, he had left his weight behind.  
  
~*~  
  
"And this is where we play tetherball, be sure not to be hit in the head with that. Over there, is the dodge ball area. Causes pain to miserable earthlings when you hit em hard enough." Zim was giving Cten a grand tour of the school, and he pointed to some children.  
  
"There, are the popular children. Over there, is the unpopular children. And here are the mix beanie bag of children. They're kinda popular yet not."  
  
"Hey guys! I got Dib's clothing!" Torque's voice suddenly rang out triumphantly as Zim and Cten had sat down at a bench, Gaz sat nearby with her Game Slave, as usual. Some kids laughed and jeered, one asked how he got it.  
  
"The little freak was talking about being pregnant to an alien, so I got his clothes." Torque declared triumphantly. This was greeted by laughter of the children, and Zim rolled his contacted eyes.  
  
"I'll never know why humans are so embarrassed about being clothe less." Zim muttered to himself.  
  
Cten shrugged to herself, and pulled the remains of a Meatmonger from her backpack and was about to bite into it when Dib's voice suddenly yelled out from across the yard.  
  
"GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES, TORQUE!!" Cten looked over, and she saw the very reason why humans are so shy about being nude!  
  
Then Dib, more choking on rage to care about that the only clothing he was wearing was his glasses, if you count them as clothes, he started running across the yard right at Torque, using the weight like a weapon. Torque burst into laughter, and ran off, Dib giving chase.  
  
Gaz saw Torque race past her, followed by her very very nude brother. Needless to say, Gas was shocked, so shocked she dropped her GameSlave without saving her place, and her eyes bulged out of her head.  
  
"Ooh my God…"  
  
Cten's eyes were pretty much the same as she watched Dib run out of sight.  
  
"Holy Irk!" she declared, and Zim just made an 'ew' sound.  
  
~*~  
  
"Your not allowed back in skool for a WEEK? Dib! What on Earth got into that large head of yours?"  
  
Dib had arrived home earlier then usual, his black hair wet and sticking to his face. His father was oddly home at this time, and was reading the letter that had accompanied him.  
  
"But Dad, I-" Dib started, but was cut short by his Father.  
  
"Streaking?! Dib this isn't like you at all! Go to your room and if you come out before I say, the robots will gorge you. Go!"  
  
Dib slumped his shoulders, why did he expect his Father to listen to him now anyway? He frowned and stormed from the room, up the stairs and entered his room. He slammed the door shut and sat on his bed. He frowned.  
  
"It was all a sick plot, I know it! Get me in the shower, Torque steals my clothes, have me confined to my room for a week so they can plan global conquest!" Dib shock his fists and pounded at his pillow angrily. "These aliens have ruined my life! I am SO going to get them for this… specially…"  
  
Dib's voice trailed off, and he looked at a photo that hung on the wall, almost hidden by all the posters, he hopped off his bed and walked over to it, and moved a poster which shown an alien autopsy.  
  
The photo is of a woman, in a hospital bed holding a baby in her arms, smiling at the camera.  
  
"…you know Mom, even though they held that Funeral, I know you're still out there." He smiled slightly, but covered it back up and slumped back onto his bed, looking out the window.  
  
"….lets hope I'm not carrying eggs…"  
  
~*~  
  
"So that's what humans look like… urgghh… I feel sick again." Zim put his gloves to his hands, and ran from the room. The two had finally arrived home from skool, and it seemed neither of them could get the image of Dib running nude through the skool grounds.  
  
Cten took her wig and hat off, and placed them on a rack. She then ripped the shirt and skirt off, to reveal her normal Irken clothing underneath. She throws them to the floor, and climbs up onto the couch, listening to the sounds of Zim hurling in the back ground.  
  
"Good evening Ma'am!" BEK's sudden appearance made Cten jump in surprise, she turned to see BEK in her cat costume, with a ball of red yarn under one arm.  
  
"Oh… evening…" Cten replied, resting her head on the arm rest.  
  
"What is wrong Ma'am? My sensors are picking up distress of some sort." BEK removed the cat head, and it hangs behind her like a hood.  
  
"BEK…. Have you seen any ugly monsters while you've been patrolling this town?" Cten had gotten an idea, a very good idea, well, for an Irken that is.  
  
"Hmmm… me 'n GIR went for a trot around and we saw these really weird things, I think a human larva called it a horse, and-" BEK began, but then felt her Mistress pick her up and shove the hood back over her head.  
  
"Good! Take me to where these horses are!" Cten headed for the door, put back on her wig, hat and skirt with shirt and headed out the door with BEK.  
  
Then GIR enters the room with two caramel rat sticks, he looks around the room.  
  
"…yay! More for me!" and with that, he shoved the two into his mouth.  
  
"Oh Irken… I just chucked down into my lab!" Zim's voice came from the kitchen, GIR turned to face the kitchen.  
  
"YAY! I'm gonna be sick too!" and he ran into the kitchen to join Zim,  
  
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
~*~  
  
"Ah, so that's a horse…"  
  
Cten and BEK were at a race track, you know, for snooty children to bring their horses for training and all that. They watch a black mare trotting around the track with a blonde haired girl sat on the saddle, looking very snooty indeed. She stops the horse and looks at the, as they appear to her, little girl and her cat besides her.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked, even her voice sounded snobbish.  
  
"Uh… just, observing." Cten replied, BEK moving to her side.  
  
"Well you shouldn't be here! This is private property! Be gone before I sick the guard dogs on you!" the girl turned to her horse, patted it's neck and then it trotted off. Cten watched her leave, and her eyes narrowed.  
  
"Hope you like your horse, snobbish one…. You won't be seeing all of it soon…."  
  
Cten then burst into hysterical laughter, holding where her tummy would while she laughs. Her wig almost falls off, but she puts her hand on her head and stops laughing, and smooths her bow out.  
  
"Ahem. Let's move."  
  
She grabbed BEK around the waist, and the long legs shoot out of her backpack, and she races off out of sight.  
  
~*~  
  
The evening soon melted into night time, outside the Membrane household, a skinny figure, held above the ground by thin legs raced across the street, and leapt into the air, landing on a window pane. The figure, carrying something in a bag lept from window to window, gazing in. Finally it stopped, and a snicker was heard.  
  
A long leg opened the window, and the legs remained outside and the tiny body was carried in, after a moments pause, the body left the window, and the legs carrying the body again vanished into the night.  
  
Course, the figure tripped over a garbage can before it could make it's full escape, cursing, it limped off now with a broken leg.  
  
The sun soon rose, in which direction I forget, and shards of light burst into Dib's bedroom. He was on his bed, his hair all trussed and messy-like. His eyes slowly opened, but he rolled over onto his side, and his leg hit something. He opened his eyes.  
  
His leg touched the thing again, it didn't feel like a pillow at all… he sat up quickly and put his glasses on, and he now sees the lump that is hidden under his blanket. His shaky hand slowly reaches for the blankets and whips the blanket off.  
  
To Dib's sheer horror, there, laid on his bed was a head. A head of a black horse, blood dripping onto his floor and it's blank, brown eyes staring right at him. Dib did the most humane thing.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"  
  
His scream set off a lot of car alarms as well by the way.  
  
~*~  
  
"In local news, a prize winning mare was found decapitated at Pine Hallow this morning. There is no sign of any break ins, well, except for a large smouldering hole in the wall."  
  
The TV droned on, morning TV was always boring to GIR. He picked up the flicker and began searching for a better show. A quick viewing of the TV saw the head of Stan Marsh flash by, followed by Johnny the Homicidal Maniac welding a power-tool, then the Teletubbies being drunk, and finally some girl shaking her hips.  
  
"Booo." GIR claimed, and handed the remote to BEK who was sat besides him, and he ran off. BEK looked at the remote, and put it down and walked into the kitchen. The remote, as she placed it down, clicked back to the news.  
  
"…and in totally unrelated news, a mares head was found in the bed of local boy Dib Membrane."  
  
Hearing Dib's name, Cten raced into the room and sat directly in front of the TV. Dib's face appeared in the top hand corner of the screen, and he looks very much disturbed.  
  
"The boy had recently been expelled from school for a week, over a streaking event. This is what he had to say."  
  
The image grew to over take the screen, Cten's smile softened and she sighed heavily.  
  
"I.. I, I have NO idea.. maybe, maybe the aliens put it there! They're out to get me you know?? There's two now! TWO! They're here to breed I tells ya, they're out to get me cause I know! Hey wait, what's that-"  
  
Dib was cut off by Gaz dragging him off to school.  
  
Cten blinked, and smiled.  
  
"He mentioned me in the news! Well, at least he knows how handsome he is now, compared to that **ugly** horse thing…" Cten stood up, and Zim entered the room, already in his disguise.  
  
"Come Cten! Today we're heading into town to observe how these humans prepare for Valentines, and what we can learn from it." Zim exclaimed as he fixed his wig.  
  
"Yes Zim." Cten replied, turning off the TV and walked from the room, BEK following her.  
  
"Ma'am, did your plan to have Dib realise your love for him work?" BEK asked, pulling on her cat costume.  
  
"I don't think so BEK…" Cten replied sadly, "Maybe now I'll have to show it in other ways. Like the biting ritual, or the stabbing with pointy objects!"  
  
"Maybe that'd work!" BEK replied, "Myself and GIR saw on a late show called Jerry Springer that these people loved being hurt, especially by the ones they loved."  
  
"Good then! Next time I meet him, I'll be sure to have a pointy object with me!"  
  
To be continued yet again!  
  
What will the two aliens and SIRs get up to in town? Wait and see!  
  
  
  
  
  
Now here is some artwork, done by yours truly based on this story. I'd really appreciate people drawing Cten, or any other scene from this fanfic. It would mean a lot to me. ^_^  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=82041 - Cten with her fork madness!  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=81851 - Nude Dib! But you don't see anything, don't worry  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=78604 - Cten smooches Dib.  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=78606 - Cten thinking of Dib.  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=81159 - Just Cten, this scene coming in a chapter soon. 


	4. Mall Madness

Aliens Exist

Part four

By: Cartman's Girl

GIR's little costumed body was being dragged along the ground on his back, towards the Mall. GIR had little interest where he was going, he was just glad his Master was taking him out. Following behind him was BEK, in her cat costume. Being a cat, she didn't have to wear a collar at all.

"Weeeeeeeee…" GIR had been declaring this since they had started, and since he was being dragged. It was getting annoying.

"GIR! Stop that!" Zim snapped at the robot, who got to his feet and began walking after them. Zim turned his attention to Cten, who was scratching her head again, due to the wig. "Now the Mall is where people go to purchase stuff, it's bigger then a normal store, so don't be surprised at how BIG it is. Well, it isn't big in our terms, but to puny stink beasts, it's big."

"Okie then!" Cten replied happily.

They turned the corner, and there it was. A huge building, as long as it was tall, one big sign that read 'MALL' on the top. Cten arched her head back to see it properly, and toppled over onto her backside.

"I've seen bigger." Zim said to himself. Cten got to her feet and followed Zim into the Mall, directly past a sign reading 'No Pets'.

Meanwhile, across the street, Dib, yes, the famous DIB is watching the alien group. How'd he get out of his house without being attacked by robots? He didn't. Take note of the seared jacket.

"There you are…" he quickly ran across the street, and into the Mall after them. Once inside, he followed the foot prints of GIR, who, on the way there, had been dragged through a muddy thing, least let's hope it's mud.

"So they don't order supplies from Conventia?" Cten asked as they walked past a skimpy clothes outlet, BEK stopped to ogle at a pair of bras.

"No, they come here and hand pick! Imagine the terrible germs that lurk in some of these things!" Zim shuddered at the thought of germs, and Cten just nodded a bit.

"So why are we here?" Cten asked, having to return to pick up BEK who was still ogling bra colours.

"For you to observe human behaviour, see how their primitive minds work in this sort of social order. It'll help you act more 'human' around the stink beasts. The spoot heads…" Zim added, muttering to himself.

"Oh I see then! So where does the most interaction take place?" Cten asked,

"At the counter, where they purchase the goods. We shall get in line, and observe. But when it comes to our turn, we'll flee. If they catch on, our mission is as good as doomed. And the Tallest don't want that!" Zim declared, leading her through the main doors of some spoofy like store.

"Oh of course not! Last thing I want to do is upset the Almighty Red and Purple. They have been so good to me." Cten sighed at her memories of working for the Tallest, but now she had to make them just as proud of her as an Invader as they were, when she was a Maid.

"Huh, good… that's… good." Zim replied.

Far behind them, moving quickly through the crowd, Dib kept his eyes on them. He was going to uncover them, that's for sure. In a store full of people, how could they miss something like two aliens and robots?

"All right…" he slipped into the main doors after them, still moving quickly.

~*~

"This product says 50% off! Now I want my 50% off!" a very loud, and obese woman was arguing with a skinny and pimply store clerk.

"Ma'am.. th-the 50% sale finished a half hour ago…" stuttered the oily-faced teenager.

"This store OPENED half an hour ago!"

The argument was pretty loud, and even Zim and Cten could hear it, and they were all the way back in the line between an old man who smelt of vitamins and peas, and some lady with a baby who had found interest in Zim's hair.

"Stop it!" he declared, moving away from the baby, fixing his hair. Cten sighed.

"So this is what humans do to amuse themselves… stand in lines between small larvae and smelly things." Cten thought to herself, she then heard a familiar voice.

"Hey! Cut it out!"

Since Zim was now occupied by the baby again, Cten turned her head around and saw Dib. He was near the computer section, unknown to her he had been watching them. But now he was being hassled by at least five bigger boys. 

"Why are you- hey!" One of the boys had snatched his large, round edged glasses off his head.

"Cause we don't like your face dweeb!" declared the one who had his glasses now on his own head.

"That's no reason to push me around!" Dib called out, pretty much blind now without his glasses.

"Are you telling us what to do?" said another boy, bigger then the first one. Hearing how tough he sounded, Dib's voice grew a bit fainter.

"Um.. n-no, course not…"

"This kid's messing with our minds! GET HIM!"

All five boys were now on Dib like hungry lions were on a poor dying Zebra. Cten had been watching the whole thing, and she now looked appalled! Here was Dib, being beaten up by five huge boys, and no one was bothering to help! Her eyes narrowed and she snarled quietly.

Without being able to control herself, her spider legs shot out of her backpack, and she thus leapt into the cloud of smoke.

Now to keep this simple and non-violent in this fanfic, I'll just have the cries.

"OW! What was that?!"

"My eyeball!"

"The humanity!"

"What's going ON here?!"

"AYE-YIE-YIE-YIE-YIE!*"

"Waaaaa-HEY!"

Soon the smoke cleared, and the five boys were seen passed out, bleeding and battered on the ground. Dib looked a bit messed himself, and by now, people were watching, and staring at the mess. Cten is stood there, looking innocent as ever.

Dib shakily gets to his feet, goes over to her and whispers something into her would-be ear. She grins, and then wedgies all the five boys at once, possible by using her four spider legs and her own. 

"Hey what's going on here?!" a fat, sweaty security guard was coming, Cten looked at Dib.

"'Cuse me!" she declared, and then grabbed Dib by the back of his jacket, her spider legs shot out and she ran up the wall, carrying Dib and vanished up through a skylight and out of sight, Dib with her.

The guard came to a stop and stared up after them, then at the boys. He scratched his head.

"These kids just get weirder and weirder. I blame the video games."

"GIVE ME MY HAIR!!"

~*~

"…why did you do that?" Dib was now sat on the very roof of the Mall, and knowing how tall this building was, he was pretty high in the sky. Cten was sat casually besides him, two of her spider legs sticking out, holding onto the roof.

"Oh you know, because." She replied happily, looking at the sky as a few birds flew by.

"You, you just kinda saved me down there. Why? I mean, you're an alien scum 'n you laid your eggs in me… wait, that's it! You just did that to protect your eggs didn't you? Hah! I knew it!" Dib was now stood up and pointing his little accusing finger at Cten who looked more confused then upset.

"…what?" she asked,

"Don't deny it you reproducing parasite! I always knew - waaugh!" Dib then unfortunately lost his footing, and almost fell off the roof. Before he knew it, Cten's robotic leg had slipped through his jacket, so here he was, hanging in mid air between an alien and a hard place.

"Uhh… heh-heh… you know I was kidding, right?" he grinned innocently.

Cten tilted her head to the side, a slight frown on her face.

"I'm not a reproducing parasite Dib." With that she dropped him… on the roof besides her. "So don't call me that again. Heh, even I know not to insult a greater species, tho there isn't many greater then us…" she trailed off and thought to herself for a moment, "Nope."

"….what is your species anyway….?" Dib asked, since she was without Zim obviously he couldn't stop her from talking, at last! A golden opportunity to find out about who Zim's species really were!

"Oh well we're-" Cten was suddenly cut off by Zim, leaping through one of the glass ceiling things, coming up between herself and Dib, making Dib fall back a bit, but not fall off the roof.

"CTEN! How dare you interrogate with the enemy! You are NOT at liberty to give such information away! Imagine what the Tallest would say, knowing YOU let precious Irken information seep through your hands like.. like.. SAND!" Zim was pointing a gloved hand at her, but then he trailed off realising he just mentioned both the Tallest AND his species name.

"Thanks for the information *Zim*." Dib snorted, dusting his jacket off. Zim whirled around and glared at Dib, and he looked rather menacing with his spider legs out and the snarl on his face.

"Fine, Dib worm! You win this round! But now there's TWO of us and you can't keep up with two! Come Cten! We have much to prepare!"

With that, Zim leapt off the roof but using his spider legs, they caught onto the side of the Mall and he walked down it, as if a real spider and vanished into the dark. Then we heard muffled cries from him.

"Argh, this glass HURTS!"

Cten looked at Dib, shrugged and followed after Zim. Dib sat there, but then GIR and BEK managed to climb out of the hole made by Zim. GIR waved at Dib,

"Hi big headed Dibby human!" he declared happily, then BEK grabbed his leash and followed suite after their masters, but using her jet pack instead of walking down the wall.

Dib sat there for a moment longer, then realised…

"Wait how am I supposed to get down from here?"

~*~

To be continued, yet again! Bwa-ha.

* - Xena like cry from Cten


End file.
